*copied from my live journal post*

"mood: depressed
music: Bishop Allen
I have to tell someone I really like them. And I'm really scared. I've never really done this before, i've always seemed to fall into relationships-if that's what you could call most of them- I've only ever asked someone out once, and that was only after prodding form one of her friends. I'm so frightened of....being rejected....but...not so much rejection as what that means: that I'll keep being lonely, all alone, that I'll really just give up, forever. I don't want to be alone, nothing scares me more than being alone. I don't want to be alone with myself anymore, I want something besides me. Someone......else, who really cares.

I'm so scared and confused I want to cry."



This was written a few days ago, even though I feel a bit stronger now and maybe a bit braver, I'm still a little lost and confused, and very scared of what to expect. I'm afraid she won't like me back, and even though we're really good friends, and would continue being so no matter if she likes me back or not, I'm still scared none-the-less.


Ooohh anxiety, you are not my friend.